Dec. 11 2008. Oldie, but still true!
I'm the undescribable.
The one who can't combine it all.
I'm the mess on your floor.
You'll leave me there and slam the door.
I'm the awkward combination.
The girl who sucks at interpretation.
Breaking stuff is my best.
Leave it there and keep the rest.
A girl who always uses profanity.
Disaster is my middle name.
I'll role your dice and play the game.
Touch my lips and i'll touch back.
Things in life like that you can never lack.
Push me over, or pick me up.
Eventually everyone gets stuck.
Back in 2008, I wrote this "rap poem" out of no...
I've been through this sick life,
I've seen all the pain &
Societies got me wondering who the hell isn't insane?
We lie to ourselves and cheat through the way;
Is anybody out there who knows just what to say?
I'm sick of these games,
I'm done with the lies
'Cause everytime I look up, theres never a beautiful sky.
We run on electronics and pace everyday,
When the fuck can we slow down
Just to find a day...
A day to remember, a day to enjoy,
Instead were all inside
Playing on our cyber tech toys.
What happened to the simple life?
Where'd all the good people go?
I'm looking and I'm searching
But noone seems to let go..
To let go of this crazy life that they live everyday
The comformity they take on, just to look all the same.
Is there anybody out there, who wants to be unique?
Is there anybody out there, whose strong enough to speak?
To speak the words of wisdom and pride
To change all these ways, and get people to decide.
Are you happy or sad with this life that your living in?
'Cause everyone will discover what you feel, deep within.
In your hearts-in your soul;
Your feeling so afraid,
To get up everyday, and take on this life you made.
These people all chose to live in self-denial
And now its just going to be passed on to every damn new child.
They'll learn to rely on other peoples help
They'll learn to get by on other peoples wealth.
When really they should be listening to all the words I say,
You gotta learn to pick yourself up, and find another way.
You can't be happy with everything you have,
So why even bother?
Lifes suppose to be beautiful
Its suppose to make us stronger.
You gotta find the positive in your everyday life -
Or you'll just end up like the rest of them,
With all their pain and strife.
I'm done with unloyalty, and fake little stories
If you people really cared, then why do you make us worry?
You can't speak of love, when you shout all this hate.
I know what will happen...
So stop before its to late.
Life will bring you down, down to theunderworld
Where you'll meet with the devil,
He'll tell you all you've heard.
I told you to listen, but now you have no escape:
Do you think the devil has sympathy?
Well think again, here's Hells Gates.
Was it worth it? Was it fun?
To ruin the life you lead...
I waited and I watched
To see if these people would change,
But I guess this life of yours is nothing but a game.
Written by: Me and only me. [Please no copying]
pacificpalmtrees asked: hey, is your boyfriend on t/s empire state or something like that? cause so is mine. they left for ireland and croatia etc?
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romanceforthehopeless: Love all of you guys <3
somnolentus-deactivated20110916 asked: Hi! Just wanted to leave you a little something because I saw your post about being a USN girlfriend. I'm also a sailor's girlfriend, and I'd just like to say it gets easier. It's super hard at first for a long distance relationship, I can't count the number of times I would cry my eyes out missing my boy. But if you really love the kid, it gets easier. :) If you need...
camreed asked: heyyyyy so we should hang out soon love your blog babbbygiilllrlrlrlr
irreluvant asked: Hey .
Thanks for following .
Nice blog .
<3 ` (:
Thanks for following .
Nice blog .
<3 ` (:
hersunflowersmile asked: I hope so too! I hope it all works out for you darlin'! :) <3
New at this.
I'm lame and decided to go on YouTube to watch videos of girls who have navy bf, since its easier to see their emotional reactions then and there. However, I have read a lot of tumblr blogs about deployment for girlfriends/wives with men in the military / armed forces all of that. I guess I'm just trying to prepare myself, emotionally and mentally. My boyfriend has been in the navy since '08, so he's past all that boot camp / graduation stuff that I've seen a lot of girls talk about.
As of July 30th hell be coming home. And for those who don't know about our "story", he used to be a friend of my ex. (Just like stated in that blog, don't go thinking I'm some huge bitch and say "ddamn that's fucked up" because I never had any intentions on actually liking him so long ago, and plus for 6 months I fought for "the friend" aka my ex, who ended up turning into a person I didn't even know anymore. Remember people feelings are natural! Don't hate plz)
Anyways, me and my boy are able to talk everyday. Which I can say I feel more and more greatful for the more I keep seeing girls who barely get to talk to their men, stay strong girls.
I give huge kudos to those people I see being so strong to wait around for a letter/phone call, I can't even imagine how different everything would be if it was that way.
Basically, if someone reads this who is in my situation, respond with some tips or advice.
I am a strong girl, and that's what you gotta be to go through this, but I've never had to have someone I truly feel for and who only lives 10 minutes away (if he lived home) from me for a whole month, then one day having to say "see yah later" at the airport and watching him go and not yet knowing when hell come back. I can honestly admit to being very scared, and I'm sure that's completely natural. To be honest, I used to say "I could never be with someone in the army or military, how could any girl survive that long" because I'm a compationate person...but now I'm in one, and basically came to the conclusion that if I'm going to commit to this, I really gotta be as strong as I know I can be. I love love. Wouldn't trade it for anything, and all of you women who've already gone through this and so much more are my inspiration that I am able to do this.
hersunflowersmile asked: Hey girl! I saw your post. I think you have every right to be upset or worried over that. My boyfriend lives 8 hours away from me and I also have crazy trust issues because I've been cheated on before. His ex girlfriend kept trying to talk to him and I told him how much it upsets me. I told him to do whatever he wants to do, because I can't stop him from talking to anyone.
Any followers who come across this post, please...
I think I have issues looking back into what has happened in the past, and I realize the past is gone now but I think everyone or most people would agree that it shapes who/how/what a person is now, here in the present.
Basically, my biggest problem is the beleif that every man I talk to will end up hurting me because there's someone who comes along that is better, or an old "crush" that sparks up the flames again.
Some of my readers my know now that I am currently a Navy girlfriend, in a long distance relationship. Even though technically he doesn't do long distance relationships anymore because of an ex that hurt him, me and him only talk to each other, stay loyal to each other, get jealous have little arguements and cute nick names. So to me, that's a fucking relationship haha or atleast a commitment.
Anyways, I'm blabbering now. The whole point to this post is for readers to give me advice on something that made me on the edge today.
Me and my boy were having a lovely phone conversation and being cute and what not, and tonight he had a few beers because he doesn't have to work. And alcohol doesn't truly change a person, but let's them be more willing to let their guard down and act on any thought.
Before our conversation ended on skype, he was messaging someone and told me it was his best friend 3 years ago. This best friend of his he used to want to be in a relationship with and that why they had a huge falling out, in addition to the fact that prior his crush he was in a 3 year relationship. I forget if he was just getting out of it or not when he realized he liked her.
Whatever. See I'm a jealous type of person, and to me hearing that made my mood from smiley to worried within mili seconds because I think about "why did she just randomlly message him after 3 yrs of not talking" or "will my boy start liking her again" (even though he's gotten upset with me when I have mentioned stuff about his ex because he knows I have no reason to not trust him).
I do trust the boy, with all my heart. He's never done anything to make me doubt that, but its the fucking girl I don't trust. I'm a girl, and I can admit to being scandalous with boys in my past, and girls as most know, are manipulative creatures, because it doesn't take much for a dude to be hella interested in someone they're attracted too.
My quetion to you people is, am I ridiculously for being nervous/worried?
Should I just keep my mouth shut about it too him and get over it?
Gahhh. This shit marinats in my mind. : (
dearbree: “distance is not for the fearful, it is for the bold. It’s for those who are willing to spend a lot of time alone in exchange for a little time with the one they love. It’s for those knowing a good thing when they see it, even if they don’t see it nearly enough…”“
I hate knowing you went to bed mad because of me.
Well, now that my big rant is out about my douche bag ex who I obviously still have issues trying to get over untill recently when he decided to fuck around with my heart a little bit more, then go back to saying "leave me alone".
You know what boy?! Leave me alone! Let my heart go!
My cousin told me therell be a day where closure comes, when no emotions are involved and you can just say "look, its over, for good".
But fuck talking about that cock sucker right now (yes I have a truckers mouth, very lady like)
My boyyy, whose name will remain anon, but the dude I was telling y'all about who lives far away because he's apart of the military, just gave me the biggest surprise ever!
He's coming home, july 30th.
I find it weird we never met, but I guess its already weird enough he is (or now was) my exs best friend. Remember, these feelings weren't intentional, but everything happens for a reason.
He's coming home, he's coming home : )
I'm happy and sad at the same time. Our days together will feel so surreal and movie like I won't know how to control myself. Or how to say bye when he has to fly back to italy : (
This could possibly be the most romantic yet heart wrenching 29 days of my life starting july 30th.
Le mind games.
Ahem- as readers may know, I have discussed (or just plain vented) about my first love, whose name remains annonymous on here. Blahzeblah. So, yesterday was my birthday. And my ex decides after everything that’s been “done for” after the 6 long months of me fighting for him to give me a fake chance and find a new girlfriend : the mother fucker finds the nerve to text me...
its my birthday motha fuckas!
I expect some love please ;)
mixolosips asked: Are you alright? :\
I guess I understand.
Right now, I shouldn't have you on my mind.
Why? Because I'm happy again, and so are you.
We both found our own safety nets. We both are now not looking back.
But just as I promised, I still love you, and always will.
Everyone knows their first love never dies, never can be replaced, never can feel so magical with someone else, never can be exactly the same, ever.
I always want to post things about how you hurt me, how you didn't give me a second chance, how you made such a simple fix turn into something that's forever tainted.
Except there's one problem with feeling like you hurt me, and that problem is that I hurt you first, that it was me who was to scared to blind to notice all that you were, all the wonderful things I noticed to late.
Now, I don't even know who you are. You've changed. You've let people influence you, and honestly I don't know if you'll ever be the boy I was bestfriends with and fell inlove with. That scares me, because who you were, was as close to the perfect man for any girl.
Goodbye was forever this time, and you'll live your life not forgiving the 500 apologies I've wrote down in letters, said in voicemails, showed with actions.
Yes, I will always remember that I fucked up by not realizing what I had until you started erasing me and were gone, but you should also remember the half of a year I spent dedicated and determined to get you back by apologizing in every way possibly, each day of those 6 months.
And remember that you fooled me, with a false chance, after knowing you could finally have me. I mustve been to late, you mustve not really meant all that you've said to me, you didn't really love me, and if you did, then your the fool for not letting me show you I changed for the better.